Dear Mom

I'm near the end of Elizabeth Noble's first novel, The Reading Group and I'm gripped. It was challenge breaking off to write this post. It's the second time I read a  novel she wrote, and this, like the previous one (Things I Want My Daughters To Know), has the relationship between mothers and their children at its core. Much of it made me think of my relationship with my mother.

I spend most of my time around my dad, evident in my previous posts and pretty much every time I open my mouth. Dad is the loud one in their wonderfully balanced marriage. Not that mom is quiet, but unlike dad, she'll never force you into conversation, into getting over your sour self and taking a ride to town with him. Dad is the one I have alot in common with; music, theological subjects, adventures etc. I stayed three months with him while mom was away after delivering my first sister born at 27 weeks. At 7, I took my first road trip with him on his 1981 Honda Classic Goldwing 1000CC motorbike. Dad.

A long while ago, while having a conversation with the neighbors, I overheard my mother explain to our neighbor how she shouldn't be jealous of the relationship her husband has with their child. They seemed to do everything together, making her feel a little left out. My mom said something I'd been blind towards this entire time. She said I spent alot of time with my dad and just got along better with him, she said she'd come to understand it and no longer felt jealous about it. She then went on to speak of the closeness she shares with my younger sister, driving in the point that each child was different and related to his/her parents differently.

More recently, a young mom and Facebook friend of mine posted something that made me laugh with familiarity. She retold a phone call conversation with her toddler daughter. It went something like this:
"Her: hello my baby
Her daughter: Mom! (in what seemed like excitement to her mother)
Her: aah, how's my baby?
Her daughter: Mommy, where's daddy?
Her: it's just mommy, your dad isn't here.
Her daughter: ah. Ok. Bye mom."
I laughed so hard when I saw this. And reading the comments that people wrote I learnt it was a common phenomenon, girls liking their superhero daddies over seemingly average mommy.

But growing older (yep it's happening) I'm learning that I am more like my mother than I thought. I came across a statement that said: "Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out!" Nothing could be more true! My sisters are always notifying me when I say something mom normally says. I have my mother's weird sense of humor, mean jokes, introvert nature, and my two most favorite qualities from her; her unquenchable thirst for knowledge and her fabulous body!
I am yet to meet a woman as strong as my mom (I pray I adopt that quality too). Being older now, I'm finding out about battles she had to fight while I was too little to understand. She also stood with me when, for the first time ever, me and my dad didn't see eye to eye; she had my back till things got back normal between the two of us. I am very grateful for her, it is both annoying and hilarious to watch her grow old, and I'm privileged to watch her put up her biggest fight against the first signs of old age (although I can not say the same about driving her cellphone to work in the morning for her when she forgets it.)

So to all the mommies raising and living with 'daddy's lil' princesses': you are loved, appreciated and definitely not forgotten.
Your Daughter.