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Showing posts from March, 2016

Not angry enough to lose you

I love it when God intercepts while I'm speaking, it's the fuel to my fire, my evidence that I'm not alone. I get such a kick from teaching His Word, I never have a doubt when I'm up there that this is what I'm purposed to do. I've said before that I know this is it because of the way it responds to me. That's how I define passion, not only doing something you love, but doing something that loves you, that responds to you, that bears fruit at your touch. Last night, while dealing with the curse of sin he opened my eyes to this truth: you cannot redeem something you've cursed. I was passing by Genesis 3 when He said this. I've always admired how He didn't curse Adam but the ground instead after he sinned, but never went far enough to learn why. God didn't curse Adam because He had it in His mind to later on redeem him. Of course this didn't mean that Adam could walk away without facing the consequences of what he'd done, but it also

Melanin (not) popping

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With the rise of black women embracing their "blackness", some of us have been left behind, especially when the discussion moves from hair to skin complexion. I don't know about other so called "yellow bones" (I hate the term by the way, it makes no sense, there's no biological relation between pigmentation and bones, anyway), I feel kinda left out on "melanin monday" and feel it would be a bit weird to post a selfie with the hashtag #melaninpoppin because, well, my melanin ain't popping much. But I don't believe that makes me less "black" or less "African". The English word 'melanin' originates from the Greek word 'melas' which means 'black'. Biologically, it is defined as the pigment that gives human skin, hair, and eyes their color. Dark-skinned people have more melanin in their skin than light-skinned people have. And Melanin has it's share of advantages, not only does it offer protectio

100 (start)

"Start now. Start where you are. Start with fear. Start with pain. Start with doubt. Start with hands shaking. Start with voice trembling. But Start." I don't know who said these words, but I know they were right. This is my 100th post and those words resound in my head as I recall how this blog came into existence. I was introduced to Blogger in July 2011 when I had to do an assignment that required a blog. I had first had exposure to blogging the previous year, in my first year, again through an assignment in Greek. Then we only had to comment on an existing blog. In my second year, I had to create my own blog where I'd conduct a survey, it was titled Marriage and Ministry and I never got any feedback from anyone who came across it, if anyone ever did. I passed my assignment and forgot all about the blog. Two years later, after multiple rejections from publishers, I was suffering from self-doubt, I wondered if my writing was worth reading. That's when I reme

Unseen

My ego works overtime, a cause of most of my frustration. Ego is defined as 'a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance', it originates from the Latin for 'I'. For some odd reason, ego is usually given a negative connotation in every day speech. That couldn't be further from the truth since the synonyms of ego are 'self-respect, self-conceit, self-image and self-confidence'. Back to my overactive ego. I cannot stand being in one-way relationships, I'm too conscious of myself to be in a relationship where I only give and never take. I just can't. I think I've written about the different ecological relationships before, but my memory stinks (and repetition never killed anyone anyway). Competition is the simple one, its multiple organisms fighting for the same resources. The competition may or may not lead to interference but it's a given that the more similar two species in a community are, the more competitive they are with each

Selective Obedience

I am headstrong. I am adamant on finding a way where there is none and once found, I'm doing it my way. This makes me a very difficult person to work with, an even harder person to love. Most people view it as pride and stubbornness, that's the surface, I know the root: mistrust. I cannot trust anyone with myself to that extent as to let them navigate my life in a different direction than I had worked out, ask anyone who's been in a car with me. I've learnt this can be a hindrance, not only in my relationships with people, but with God as well. The other morning I was mad (angry and hurt in my understanding) at one of my sisters because of how she had failed to do a simple task I'd asked of her the day before (I don't know if not even trying counts as failing). I was angry because it was really something small I'd asked of her, really simple, though important. Hurt because her disobedience was so intended, I had asked her again and again, but she still had