Thoughts and Other Things

In the first part, we introduced the theme of the importance of doing marriage God’s way if it is to work. We concluded on two points extracted from Genesis 2:20-23, that according to God, marriage is exclusively between two people of different genders. Now we move on to the next two points which are based on Genesis 2:24. “ Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh .” (KJV) 3. Man must leave and cleave The way this verse begins reveals that it is closely connected to the previous. The reason why a man leaves his parents is based on his state of being awakened to the woman that is presented to him. Without being informed by God, Adam, awakened from a deep sleep, realized who Eve was and what she meant to him. This is the basis of a marriage; not beauty, not riches, not skills and abilities, but worth. If you marry for any other reason other than this as a man, you will completely fail to leave. Because withou

I recently officiated a marriage and before doing so I addressed a subject which has been in my heart for a while now. I’d like to share with you four of the eight points I shared pertaining to the foundation of marriage and how it’s meant to work. (I’ll do this in two parts since each point is quiet lengthy). I’ve wrote before about how God is the founder of marriage and because of that, He defines it, not society and its culture. God owns marriage and it can only work if it’s done His way. One major thing that informs the way God ordained marriage to work is His purpose for it which is beyond the two people who form part of it. Ephesians 5:31-32 speaks of this, pointing out how the union between husband and wife stands to bring light and understanding about the relationship between Christ and the Church. Let’s look at how he’s set it out to work on the basis of Genesis 2. 1. Marriage is between two people When no suitable helper (singular) was found for Adam, God put Adam to

Good things have happened in my life lately (I had my first article published in a magazine and turned twenty five – good things happen in October I say). But I’ve amazed myself in that amidst the good, my eyes couldn’t keep off the bad that was there before the good, the bad that just refuses to go away no matter what new good things come my way. This is what caused me to focus on scripture passages that speak about hope, because in a situation that doesn’t respond to my faith, my hope is challenged. The Bible has so much to say about hope and one consistent thing is how those who choose to put their hope in God will not be disappointed (see Isaiah 28:16; 49:23, Psalm 25:3, and Romans 5:5). Reminding myself of this truth made me conclude that if I felt the result wasn’t what I had hoped for then I shouldn’t stop hoping. There’s a lady I like who embodies this truth. Funny enough, none of the women mentioned in Mark 5 are called out by name, instead, we identify them by their condi

It’s such a common mistake to think that you understand something completely when you only understand it in part. It’s a mistake that can mean living a life that is only half of the life that you’re supposed to live. I learnt this while study Ruth. After she had met Boaz and received favour from him, she went back to her mother-in-law Naomi who was pleasantly surprised by what she had gleaned. She knew that it had something to do with the owner of the field who had to have taken notice of her, so she asked where Ruth had worked. (This struck my heart, I realized that my success has little to do with me and my hard work, and plenty to do with the field I’m working in. If I am in the right field, the one I’m called for, the Owner shows favour to me by throwing serendipities along my path. This doesn’t mean me working isn’t necessary, it is, Ruth worked alright; but it means I always get more than what I worked for. Sometimes our frustration with being successful isn’t a reflection of m

I recently finished a very moving novel by Naomi Ragen titled The Sacrifice of Tamar. It was interesting, so intriguing, and so insightful (it’s an old read, but my local library never disappoints with their fiction section). No it is not about any of the Tamar’s we find in the pages of the Bible but of a Haredi (ultra-Orthodox) Jewish woman living in America who has the unthinkable happen to her early on in her marriage that later on pops up as a bitter reminder of her hidden past. As I read it, I recalled a lesson I had back in Dogmatics class (it has nothing to do with dogs, but everything to do with dogma, i.e. doctrine) in college where our lecturer was exploring the different views concerning the relationship between Christianity and Judaism. Others said Christianity was an extension, or continuation, of Judaism, while others said Christianity was something completely different from Judaism. What made me recall this lesson is how I just couldn’t relate with Tamar’s God. Tamar

Today is ‘Mane Monday in the natural world. Instead of crushing on gorgeous men of all shades and colours, we crush on hair, our hair, our glorious, gravity-defying, black hair. So since its Mane Monday, and my one year ‘hairnniversary’ this week, I thought I’d share my hair regimen with you. Products I use Upfront, I’d like to say I’m a product junkie so I hope you’ll keep up. I’m not so strict when it comes to ingredients in the products I use, as long as they treat my hair well, so some natural hair gurus might crucify me for some of the products I use. 1. Dr Miracle Curl Care shampoo and conditioner I use these two to wash and condition my hair 1-2 times a week. I absolutely love it. I use warm water when washing the shampoo off and cold water when washing the conditioner off. I read somewhere that the warm water helps get rid of stubborn product build up in both the scalp and hair while the cold water helps the strands to keep all of the conditioner it receives. I buy a

It’s wedding season! (and I don’t have one booking, lol). Weddings are absolutely beautiful, it’s always a pleasure attending one. But there’s something that gets to me with today’s society’s fascination (if not obsession) with weddings (personally I blame wedding programs like OPW). I feel like we put more emphasis on the event and not the institution. I say this because there’s not much effort made to get people ready for marriage compared to the tools available to get you ready for your wedding day; I bet you wedding planners are busier than premarital counsellors. Why this concern? Because marriage is such a complex thing. So complex it has people studying it, thick books written about it, seminars held about it. Jimmy Evan’s entire ministry focuses on marriage alone. My past two assignments have been centred on marriage and family counselling. I’ve gone through books and books all trying to figure out how to solve problems that arise in marriage relationships. There are over twe

The older I grow the more I see many hurt in the hands of those who love them. The book I’m reading at the moment is centred on that theme. It’s not a Christian book or anything, it’s a ‘un-put-downable’ novel by Sheila O’Flanagan. It has made me wonder what we are doing wrong when it comes to love. The major problem is that sifuna ukuqala ngokugcinwa ngakho (we want to start with what should come last). What makes me say this is the order that God gives in His Word when it comes to loving. “ Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself .’” Matthew 22:37-38 We want to start loving by loving others. But as with everything in life, love begins with God. I need to first know God, who is love, this means in knowing Him, having a living relationship with, I get to know what love truly is. 1 John 4:8 puts it this way: “

These past few weeks I’ve been studying and speaking on a subject which has been spoken about so much in the church already. Faith. You may ask, why bother when so much has been said about it. Well, because so few use it and even fewer really understand it. Another reason is the importance of faith. It’s so important to the life of believers that we need to know absolutely everything about it. "And without faith, it is impossible to please God..." Hebrews 11:6 I started studying and speaking on the subject because I myself realized I need more of the stuff. I got tired of being overwhelmed by a few things and was like “this can’t be the life God has called me to.” And by that I do not mean that life is supposed to be easy and free-flow for us believers, there’s evidence all over Scripture that we ought to expect difficulty; even better, we are advised how to handle it. So why wasn’t I coping? Because I was trying to breathe underwater without my oxygen tank. H

I am not less than you, not less capable, not less entitled, not less human, definately not less worthy. I am as His image with you as I am without you; I fully reflect Him in all my feminity. I am complete in myself, I do not need you to complete me, only to compliment me to fulfil my call of helper and mother. He said ‘it is very good’ because of us both, remember that. The blessing was spoken over the both of us: it is for you to increase and subdue as it is for me, do not forget that. I will not be made to feel less, not by you, not even by myself. I will not let society convince me that my differences are my weakness, I refuse to be made to believe that I am only strong when I am like you. I will not. I will choose to believe that my many tears are my strength, that my curves are my beauty and not a flaw. I will rather believe that my hands are softer because they nurture life, that my build is only weakened because of the strength it took to usher a life

My message to women this woman’s month: be selfish with your future. Something got me thinking about Tamar lately, the one in Genesis 38. It’s a very intriguing story. She married a man named Er (big mistake, excuse the pun), the son of Judah, Jacob’s son. Er died prematurely because of his wicked ways and so as the law went (the law concerning levirate marriage), she was given to Onan, her late husband’s younger brother with the sole purpose of producing offspring for the deceased. He too was wicked (I’m not surprised). He used the “withdrawal method” whenever he lay with her, making sure she wouldn’t conceive. He too died prematurely for this wicked act. She then should have been given to Judah’s last born son, Shelah (what a manly name). But Judah was afraid, having lost two sons to this woman already, he would have been a fool to hand over his last, right? Because it’s obvious that she was the problem, people lived, until they married her. So Judah lied to her and told her to g

I use to think Peter was really privileged to have had Jesus personally pray for him in Luke 22 until I remembered that Jesus also prayed for me personally, well kinda, in John 17. Anyway as I was fascinated by Jesus personally praying for one of his disciples, I was intrigued by what He prayed. “ Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers. ” Luke 22:31-32 There’s so much to go by in these two verses. Firstly, the fact that Satan asked. This conforms with what we learn from Job’s story, that as much as Satan desires to do harm to the righteous, he can’t without God’s permission (see Job 1:9-12). It also goes hand in hand with what Paul teaches in 1 Corinthians 10:13 which says “ No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear . But when you are tempted, he will also pr

Up front, I’d like to apologise to all my male readers for ‘shining on their shine’ as Sam would put it. I’m well aware that it’s men’s month and we love and appreciate you all for being our awesome dads, uncles, granddads, brothers, nephews, colleagues, boyfriends and husbands but this is yet another (lovely) post about women. (admit it, you guys have been in the spotlight for centuries, I’m sure you can give up two minutes of your time). I’m still reading that book about the bad girls of the Bible and I’m loving how it’s making me go back and study Bible characters I thought I already knew a lot about. While reading about the nameless woman at the well in John 4 something tugged at my heart. Besides that this is the longest recorded conversation between Jesus and anyone, I was drawn towards the fact that this woman had had 5 failed marriages. I wondered what that must have felt like. Whatever the reasons might have been, if she was anything like me, she must have felt like she wa

My current read is by an author I had never heard about until I bumped into her book. I’m reading Liz Curtis Higgs’ “Bad girls of the Bible”. I won’t lie, the title had me from get go. I turned the book around to see the back and there was a quote that made me know that I was taking it home. “When she was perfect, beautiful, and innocent, I found no toehold where I could connect with Eve. When she was tempted by her flesh, humbled by her sin, and redeemed by her God, I could sing out, ‘Oh, sister Eve! Can we talk?’” These past few years, Christian women (especially on social media) have been fixated with the Proverbs 31 woman. The virtuous woman in whom fault we cannot find. She’s a responsible wife, a caring mother, an impeccable business woman, and a generous community member...she’s perfect. She’s everything I want to be. But she also intimidates me because I cant find the faults I find in me in her. She doesn’t struggle to love a husband who fails to appreciate her, she doesn’t

I was going through the famous story of Elijah and the widow at Zarephath recently and got stuck on a verse. “Go at once to Zarephath of Sidon and stay there. I have commanded a widow in that place to supply you with food.” 1 Kings 17:9 In case you’re not familiar with the story, Elijah had been in hiding after he had told the king that he was cutting off the rain for the next few years. The place where he was hiding had a brook from which he drank and it had now dried up. God then speaks the words of verse 9. What caught my attention was the word “commanded”. I thought it was a bit harsh of God to ‘command’ someone of this kind. Widows were people who had tasted the painful side of life, having lost a partner, protector and provider (because in essence, that’s what a husband is. It’s someone you can relate with and go through life with; someone who protects you from all hurt and danger; someone who meets your needs, whatever their nature). Being a widow meant you were going throu

I have a very wise bestie who once said something that I was reminded of yesterday. I was waiting in line to be called into the consultation room. The doctor read out my name and I stepped in. Once inside, he greeted warmly, “Good morning pastor”. It kinda bothered me, why didn’t he just use my first name like he did when he called me out? But ironically, I returned the greeting with “Good morning doctor”. It was weird, referring to each other by our titles as though they were all we were. Back to my wise bestie. She once said she didn’t like people randomly calling me ‘pastor’ outside of the church setting (she only calls me ‘pastor mngani’ when we’re at church). I reasoned that I wasn’t only a pastor when I was within the four walls of the church, and besides, it’s just a manner of showing respect. She explained that she understood that, but that her concern was that that is all people would see me as, never as a person with a personality, with needs, with weaknesses, but a flawles

One of the harsh realities I’m having to deal with as I ‘adult’ is the fact that I can’t do life alone. I can try, as I do every other day when I lock myself up in my room and pretend I’m on another planet, but sooner or later, I’m gonna have to step out and deal with the fact that life aint ‘livable’ all by yourself. And it’s not because I’m weak or dependent (I’m definitely not the latter), but it’s because that’s just the way we’re built up. We’re made to exist and flourish in a relationship or community context. When God created mankind, he made them male and female from on start. Sure the one came before the other when it came to their formation, but point is, we were aware when Adam was formed that there was one missing. And it’s good that Adam came first. Besides getting the garden in order and figuring out how to do life there, he would learn to appreciate the other when she came because he would know there were things he just couldn’t do without her (I hope the brothers are

In my house, once everyone is above the age of ten, I’m going to have signs in every room saying: “If you can’t clean it, don’t use it” (the ones in the bathrooms and kitchen will be written in capital letters). I hate unnecessary cleaning. There’s such? Yep. There is necessary and unnecessary cleaning in this sad life of occupying (people’s) houses. Unnecessary cleaning is when one has to clean the mess left behind by another who had the capability to clean it in the first place. I’m of the view that if you’re able to use something, be it the stove, the sofa, or the toilet, you should be able to keep it clean. It’s really that simple. Once everyone pulls their weight with such, we’re left to negotiate about the washing of windows and scrubbing of mats (necessary cleaning). I’m working on a power point presentation to present to the people I live with to explain this theory because they really don’t get it. I was wiping the stove this morning when I thought about just how tric

Sometimes the best way you can beat the enemy is just by showing up, regardless of how you're feeling. I was reminded of that this morning. I've never ever been this restless before preaching at a school assembly. Sure I'm nervous almost every time, but never anxious to the point of thinking to cancel. Never losing sleep over it. And I only realized why when I was sitting and praying in my car minutes before taking stage. Over the past few weeks, I've been talking with the kids from the school about decision-making. We've been looking at how decisions are a reflection of my sight, the way I view myself (identity) and where I see myself (in the future). We had much fun, especially with that second part, it was well-received by both learners and teachers. The main objective of doing assemblies is obviously soul-winning but I wanted to lay a good foundation of understanding why it is they needed Christ, so I had said to myself I'd do the altar call at a later s

It's past two AM and I'm up (and sober) sipping on honeyed tea cause of his sore throat/hoarse voice that's making me sound like a ninety-year old smoker. I'm officially on bed rest, doctors orders, unofficially catching up on reading, writing and assignments every time I can manage to hold a book or pen up before the meds knock me out. Been quite busy these past few weeks. I'm still shocked by how busy pastors can be, and to think that I'm only a junior! But above all the mid-week services, the all night services, the late night meetings, the weekends away from home, I still love my job. I love everytime I step off the podium having poured out everything God had poured in with all the strength and heart I had in me. And so I really missed work tonight. So pastors go to doctors too? Yep. They miss work cause they sick? Yep. Pastors are human too, they're jars of clay carrying God's treasure just as Paul said. What I love most about that Scripture is

I recently taught a message I needed to hear more than any of the people I was ministering it to. It's title was "Take Cover" and was based on Psalm 91:1-2 which says: " He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust ."' Over the past few years, my health has not been what it had been growing up. I hadn't been back at the hospital since my birth. And the only thing that took me to the doctors office had been frostbite in my teens. But every since starting my journey in early adulthood, I've had some challenges regarding my health. I had recently gone for a check up and my world had been shaken up by the doctor's report, before I remembered this text. As I  watched things fall out of place as my earth quaked, as my eyes started to blur, as I started to loose my balance at the ground that shook beneath me, a small distant

I was telling a friend about a recent visit to my university campus to return library books. I was going on about how nice it must have been for the students who I passed in the study halls to be so close to campus. They were sitting in groups, pen in hand and laptops in place. I didn't have study buddies, I navigate myself through the courses. Goodness, even my "laptop" (it only works when it's plugged into a power source) isn't cooperating. I almost have to fast to get it to operate so I can type assignments. My friend stopped me in my tracks and said: "some of them probably looked at you and liked what you have". They probably thought how nice it was to have your own car to drive to campus, to have a job to fund your studies, which aren't your first qualification. I was immediately taken back to something that had been in my heart that very week, I wrote to you about it, gratitude. Another element of an attitude of gratitude (which we said keep