Thoughts and Other Things

You know that awesome feeling when someone puts to words a feeling you’ve been struggling to articulate? Joyce Meyer did that for me lately. She was talking about self-doubt. She said sometimes our doubt in God is really not about God because we know He can do all things, but our struggle is believing that God would do it for me. It made so much sense. We are sometimes our worst enemies simply because we know absolutely everything about ourselves. The dark thoughts we harbour, the bad we do when (we think) no one’s watching. When we take all of that, and come to God, we can’t fully understand how He can get past it in order to do us good. There’s this song (Indescribable) that gets me every time with these words “You see the depths of my heart and you love me the same, you are amazing God.” Like it’s so amazing that God can do that, cause we only allow people to see the good of our hearts, the surface, that way they can accept us, they can see us normal enough to love and tolerate

I’ve been backing up and going through my notebook and reminding myself of things God said. This because I realised its importance in keeping afloat when waters get rough. You see the temptation is great to focus on the waters when they change on you and in doing so one easily forgets what was said. I looked at the story of Jesus and His disciples and a storm. “That day when evening came, he said to his disciples. “Let us go over to the other side.” Mark 4:35 This was the word, the instruction, the desired outcome of the journey; the other side. And it would prove important during the journey to remember this. “A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.” Mark 4:37-40 Two

Its okay to be the only one who understands why you want what you want, why you did what you did Its okay to be the only one who grasps why something or someone means so much to you Its okay to be the only one who gets it Who gets what you feel in the moment that you're feeling it It is okay It does not mean you are less loved It doesnt not mean that you are wrong Or they None has to be wrong One just has to know what it was and is while the other only got to watch and hear So that makes it okay Okay to not try explaining it anymore Okay to console yourself Okay to remember and feel the pain all over again Okay to wipe those tears away with your own hands Its healing Its okay to rock yourself to sleep Okay to repeat His Word in your head, praying it sinks through Because its True He gets it Without going through it He knows it And He knows how hard it is and how hard you're trying Best of all, He knows you'll make it So keep trying because one da

Juggling work, school and home is not for the weak fam.  I thought I had it all together but the marks proved me otherwise. I’m still learning to balance, prioritize and budget my time. But I realized that as hectic as it can get, it doesn’t get completely overwhelming because I enjoy what I do and study. So yay to pursuing your passion. An assignment got me thinking. I had to write an essay about the assumptions of two different research approaches. I was bothered by the word ‘assumption’. Why not facts, because assumptions are things accepted as true but without any actual proof. If we are being scientific and theological and scholarly and stuff, shouldn’t we work with facts rather? I realized that there were a lot of assumptions going around on a daily basis, and as much as the assumptions in my assignment were quiet harmless, assumptions in daily life can cause havoc. Last night my mom went to bed on peanut butter and bread. I only find out today when I told her to e