Back to Basics: Marriage (Part One)

I recently officiated a marriage and before doing so I addressed a subject which has been in my heart for a while now. I’d like to share with you four of the eight points I shared pertaining to the foundation of marriage and how it’s meant to work. (I’ll do this in two parts since each point is quiet lengthy).

I’ve wrote before about how God is the founder of marriage and because of that, He defines it, not society and its culture. God owns marriage and it can only work if it’s done His way. One major thing that informs the way God ordained marriage to work is His purpose for it which is beyond the two people who form part of it. Ephesians 5:31-32 speaks of this, pointing out how the union between husband and wife stands to bring light and understanding about the relationship between Christ and the Church. Let’s look at how he’s set it out to work on the basis of Genesis 2.

1. Marriage is between two people
When no suitable helper (singular) was found for Adam, God put Adam to a deep sleep and took from his side, forming a woman (singular) out of his side. Some translations speak of Adam’s rib instead of side. You should know that man has more than one rib so God could have taken multiple ribs to make multiple wives for Adam. God made one woman because of the manner mankind is built up when it comes to devotion/commitment. Marriage works best when the people in it are devoted only to each other because when their devotion is divided between many parties, something of the trust/confidence and reliance that’s supposed to be present in such a union is tempered with.

Polygamy came about as a result of man falling into sin. Man fell in Genesis 3 and we have the first record of a polygamous marriage in Genesis 4:19 in Lamech’s household. God tolerated polygamy,  even among great men He used like David, because of the time they lived in. But when Jesus came and broke the curse of sin over our lives, reconciling us with God and causing us to return to our original state before sin, God gives instruction through Paul that man should have one wife (1 Timothy 3:2, Titus 2:6). One will argue that this instruction was directed to elders/deacons. You’ll argue that if you do not understand God’s order of working. When He wants to deal with something, He starts dealing with the head/leadership first, knowing that the principle will flow to the rest of the congregation. In wanting to eradicate polygamy in the church he deals with it in leadership first.

Looking at it through the eyes of Ephesians 5, you’ll see that Jesus is only devoted to ONE church. It might have different denominations, different members of different  nationality, gender and social status but it is one church, one bride (see Ephesians 2:16) and the marriage of man and wife on earth must reflect this.

2. Marriage is between two people of different genders
God made Eve to be different from Adam, a difference that was evident to Adam from the very first time he laid eyes on her. The difference was firstly physical, that’s how Adam picked it up. As much as He could see that there were similarities between them, she was human like him and nothing like the animals he had just finished naming, she had curves and humps along her body very much different from His. This different bodily construction, outside and in, spoke of a function she had that He didn’t but that was intricately bound to his purpose. She could receive and nurture Adam’s seed to full term bringing about a fruit that would be a reflection of them. Through each other they would fulfil their calling of being fruitful and increasing in number, filling and subduing the earth (Genesis 1:28).

Marriage is the institution God ordained to see to the increment of mankind on earth. He created sex (man’s ability to procreate) within marriage, knowing that if done His way, marriage would protect all parties involved, even the fruit of the marriage. It’s been proven that much of the chaos that is in this world can be traced back to broken families. And some studies have been done proving the many negative effects of sex outside marriage.

I am in no way implying that a marriage without offspring is incomplete or not blessed. Only that procreation is meant for this institution alone.

Beyond the physical differences, there are many differences between male and female that make them compatible for each other in building a home that God can live in. Because that’s the thing God desires with our homes, to come down to them and be part of them, just like how He would come down and be with man in the garden.

Marriage is beyond us...it’s bigger than us, it’s purpose runs deeper than what society and culture has taught and convinced us of. It’s meant to be more and this more can only be when we link ourselves to the God who started this whole thing, which is one beautiful thing by the way.

Catch you next time with two more points. Blessings!