You're not ready

Last week I had a blast at youth sharing with them something I think is very important for young men to understand. Yep, men. No, I'm not a man and I don't desire to be one. But yes I have stuff for men; well God does, so don't shoot the messenger.

On the basis on Genesis 2, we were exploring certain things that make one unprepared for marriage. Each point started with "you're not ready when", we'll do the same here. So here we go: you're not when...
1. You don't have a job!
God gave Adam work before He gave him a wife (read Gen 2:15). You can be as spiritual as you want but you will not escape the fact that this world works with money, and if you don't have any, you just don't qualify for the position of husband, hayi kabi. The role of 'husband' needs you to be financially equipped; starting a family calls from you financially as much as it does psychologically. Jacob worked his seven years and Boaz had his fields, so until you gain a lil' wealth, rest my brother, you're not ready, a wife is high maintenance.

2. You can't hear God
Before you can have a relationship with your wife, you need to have a solid relationship with God (read Gen 2:16-18). And by solid, I mean a mutual relationship. Remember those ecological relationships we learnt about in Natural Sciences back in the day? There were five different relationships between species. One in particular that stood opposite to mutualism was parasitism where one species benefits from the second species that is disadvantaged, but generally not killed. That's the kind of relationship some guys have with God. They only come to Him for gain, only when they're in need, coming only to take, never to give. You may feel you have something going with God, but a true relationship is characterized by not only speaking to God but also hearing him. If you're still unable to hear Him, you're not ready because your wife will submit to you to the degree you submit to Him.

3. You're blind towards what's missing
If you think you need a wife because you're tired of doing your own laundry, cooking and cleaning, then you're definitely not ready! You need a maid, not a wife. A wife is more than her abilities to keep house, as important as that is. She is one who is suitable to your vision, to you goals, to your ministry. As helper, she's one who plays a vital role in making your dreams realities, and you can't tell me that anything that wears a skirt is suitable. When you don't see what's missing, what only a suitable helper can bring for you, you're going to be looking for it everywhere, and you'll have no clue which one it is even when it's standing right in front of you. Adam saw Eve for who she was and for how she related to him (read Gen 2:22-23) and what helped him in identifying her is his relationship with the One who brought her to him.

4. You're not ready to let go
Taking a wife means leaving behind your current family to start your own, which will have it's own characteristics and features, which will have your wives finger prints all over it, not your mother's. Consider all the married couples in the Bible, the only time you hear of the parents is at special occasions, that is no coincidence. This doesn't mean completely neglecting your folks, but it does mean no more running to them with everything that pops out of your life. Leave and cleave, that's how marriage works (read Gen 2:24), if you're not ready to leave, in the words of Madea's brother Joe: Don't do it!!!

We explored 8 points in total, you'll have to read up the rest of the text to excavate those that I've left out. Enjoy!