Dealing With The Bad
The older I’m getting, the more I’m learning to accept and deal with the fact that bad things are part of life. At some point I thought I was lucky that bad things are only coming my way now, but I learned that they were always there, I was just protected from them. And part of growing up is being left to see and experience life in its bareness and rawness.
From my own experience, I’ve noticed that we tend to resist bad things when they come our way, because, well, bad things never feel good, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t good, or rather, that they don’t serve a good purpose. Think of a pregnant woman. I’ve heard women experience pregnancy differently, and that even with one woman, pregnancies aren’t the same. Let’s think of the group of women who experience more hell than others. Morning sickness, fatigue, discomfort, aches and pains, swollen feet, bloatedness, heartburn and sleeplessness are among the common ailments. For nine whole months. Imagine that. And just when you think things are coming to a sweet end, labour says hello. But they all have to talk themselves into baring it, even when it gets really unbearable, because they know that some good is going to come out of all that pain.
I like Job’s take on it, and how he handled it, in the beginning at least (hey, no one’s perfect, I’ve learnt you go through waves when your trail lasts longer than expected, some days are better than others). In frustration, Job responded this way to his wife who suggested he curse God because things were going horribly wrong and very far from what they expected their lives would turn out to be: “He replied, ‘You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?’ In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.” Job 2:10
In his defence, he is not insulting his wife. Very wise Job uses comparison. He accuses Mrs Job of talking like a foolish woman and isn’t saying she is a foolish woman. I believe Job thought the best of his wife, and he probably understood where she was coming from (it must have been hard to watch her husband go through such physical pain together with the emotional pain they shared), but Job was disappointed with her behaviour and was actually challenging her to do better, the better that he knew she was. I think this is key in communication when hurt and disappointed by loved ones. To not accuse (saying the person is wrong) but to point out the wrong in what the person has done. I think this is why their marriage survived the trail, with everything lost, they still had each other at the end because they were wise with each other. Oh apolologies for the detour, the marriage officer in me always interferes. Back to the subject.
Theologians stand up at the suggestion that God sends trouble. But reading this verse in context of the entire story, you’ll understand that it’s a matter of God permitting trouble to come my way rather than sending it. This is why Job didn’t sin in what he said. But the principle of it is that we are to accept both good and bad in life. Accepting good is easy, no one needs a life class on that. But where on earth do we begin to accept the bad?
Well, we start with something I recently wrote about, the fact that God is still in control. I need to consider, that though much around me has changed, that He hasn’t. One of my all-time favourite go-to Scripture’s is Psalm 115:3 where Israel responds to other nations when they ask where their God is, seeing their misery and trouble. “Our God is in heaven; he does whatever pleases him.” And if you know that God finds no pleasure in hurting, but in healing, you’ll know that when pain is, it has a purpose, a purpose that he has approved. And when I’ve got that in my head, I don’t lose my cool easily during the storm.
What purpose could bad possibly serve? James 1 teaches us more about that.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (verse 2-5.)
Firstly, James focuses on our attitude towards difficulties, it should be pure joy. I’m sure you’re thinking, “You’re kidding right?” You’re not alone. I thought James was being a tad bit delusional. But he wasn’t. In fact by addressing us as brothers, he sympathizes with us and understands us because he too experiences such. This attitude is on the basis of what I know. My attitude, and behaviour, reflects what I know. If I know that these pains will result in a baby, I’ll start rejoicing in advance, instead of cursing and doing things to harm myself. Knowing what pain achieves enables me to stick it out.
He also gives it away that it will be trials of many kinds. Yep, many kinds in different stages of your life. But all with one common factor, they test my faith. And what good does that do? I develope perseverance, which is the only to maturity and completion. God wants me grown and there are growing pains in the process.
This is my problem with these quick-fix believers of our time. Who never want to go through anything but seek out a quick-fix solution for all their troubles. How on earth is your faith going to be fortified without going through tests to prove its strength? No wonder they have moved away from the Word to other practices foreign to the gospel because this gospel won’t always still your storms, at times, it will call you to walk on the unsteady waters.
So whether good or bad, we accept it all with peace in our hearts, knowing that there may be pain in the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
From my own experience, I’ve noticed that we tend to resist bad things when they come our way, because, well, bad things never feel good, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t good, or rather, that they don’t serve a good purpose. Think of a pregnant woman. I’ve heard women experience pregnancy differently, and that even with one woman, pregnancies aren’t the same. Let’s think of the group of women who experience more hell than others. Morning sickness, fatigue, discomfort, aches and pains, swollen feet, bloatedness, heartburn and sleeplessness are among the common ailments. For nine whole months. Imagine that. And just when you think things are coming to a sweet end, labour says hello. But they all have to talk themselves into baring it, even when it gets really unbearable, because they know that some good is going to come out of all that pain.
I like Job’s take on it, and how he handled it, in the beginning at least (hey, no one’s perfect, I’ve learnt you go through waves when your trail lasts longer than expected, some days are better than others). In frustration, Job responded this way to his wife who suggested he curse God because things were going horribly wrong and very far from what they expected their lives would turn out to be: “He replied, ‘You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?’ In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.” Job 2:10
In his defence, he is not insulting his wife. Very wise Job uses comparison. He accuses Mrs Job of talking like a foolish woman and isn’t saying she is a foolish woman. I believe Job thought the best of his wife, and he probably understood where she was coming from (it must have been hard to watch her husband go through such physical pain together with the emotional pain they shared), but Job was disappointed with her behaviour and was actually challenging her to do better, the better that he knew she was. I think this is key in communication when hurt and disappointed by loved ones. To not accuse (saying the person is wrong) but to point out the wrong in what the person has done. I think this is why their marriage survived the trail, with everything lost, they still had each other at the end because they were wise with each other. Oh apolologies for the detour, the marriage officer in me always interferes. Back to the subject.
Theologians stand up at the suggestion that God sends trouble. But reading this verse in context of the entire story, you’ll understand that it’s a matter of God permitting trouble to come my way rather than sending it. This is why Job didn’t sin in what he said. But the principle of it is that we are to accept both good and bad in life. Accepting good is easy, no one needs a life class on that. But where on earth do we begin to accept the bad?
Well, we start with something I recently wrote about, the fact that God is still in control. I need to consider, that though much around me has changed, that He hasn’t. One of my all-time favourite go-to Scripture’s is Psalm 115:3 where Israel responds to other nations when they ask where their God is, seeing their misery and trouble. “Our God is in heaven; he does whatever pleases him.” And if you know that God finds no pleasure in hurting, but in healing, you’ll know that when pain is, it has a purpose, a purpose that he has approved. And when I’ve got that in my head, I don’t lose my cool easily during the storm.
What purpose could bad possibly serve? James 1 teaches us more about that.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (verse 2-5.)
Firstly, James focuses on our attitude towards difficulties, it should be pure joy. I’m sure you’re thinking, “You’re kidding right?” You’re not alone. I thought James was being a tad bit delusional. But he wasn’t. In fact by addressing us as brothers, he sympathizes with us and understands us because he too experiences such. This attitude is on the basis of what I know. My attitude, and behaviour, reflects what I know. If I know that these pains will result in a baby, I’ll start rejoicing in advance, instead of cursing and doing things to harm myself. Knowing what pain achieves enables me to stick it out.
He also gives it away that it will be trials of many kinds. Yep, many kinds in different stages of your life. But all with one common factor, they test my faith. And what good does that do? I develope perseverance, which is the only to maturity and completion. God wants me grown and there are growing pains in the process.
This is my problem with these quick-fix believers of our time. Who never want to go through anything but seek out a quick-fix solution for all their troubles. How on earth is your faith going to be fortified without going through tests to prove its strength? No wonder they have moved away from the Word to other practices foreign to the gospel because this gospel won’t always still your storms, at times, it will call you to walk on the unsteady waters.
So whether good or bad, we accept it all with peace in our hearts, knowing that there may be pain in the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.
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