Full Circle

Yesterday God pointed out my hypocrisy. Now I imagine no Christian leader would like to identify as a hypocrite, but I was humbled as I came to the realization and was left in awe of God and his high ways.

If I were to pinpoint my greatest moment in the first half of this year, it wouldn’t be the night I graduated for the second time (which was nothing short of amazing), but it would be the exact moment I stood in the kitchen, on one end of the table, my father on the other end, praying for me. My dad prays often so it wasn’t him praying that distinguished this moment, but the significance of it was linked to my past.

It was a full circle moment, because more than ten years ago, we stood around the very same table arguing over my desire and decision to follow God’s call. It was one of the most difficult conversations of my life because I had no answers to the many questions I was asked, no logical explanations, only a certainty that I couldn’t even put into words. This moment would mark the beginning of a strain in our relationship which tore at my heart.

So I couldn’t hold back tears as I listened to him praying for me and the success of my ministry as I was about to leave home for a ministerial duty.  It has been such a blessing to have the support of my parents over these past few years, so much so I have to force myself to remember when things were different.

In this very same half of this year my father has pursued what he’d always been talking about doing. Throughout his policing career, he has always expressed a love for livestock and agriculture. So when he retired, he finally had the opportunity to chase his dreams. I didn’t think any of this would mean anything for me until he started implementing his ideas. I found myself having such differing opinions from him. I was frustrated at how his spontaneous character was causing him to make spare of the moment decisions which were greatly inconveniencing me. I remember that we spent his birthday on the road driving goats around across provinces. I was so upset it took every ounce of Christian in me to do something, anything, to acknowledge his special day.

Every time I’m home I make it a point to get in some quality time with my family. So yesterday I accompanied dad to feed the cattle even though I was feeling under the weather. I looked at him intently going about his duties. From the excitement on his face as the cattle recognized his car and came to meet him halfway, to him raking the scattered bale of grass so they’d have enough to eat. I was helping him tighten the kraal with wires when I realized just how happy he was there. Flat on his bottom inside the kraal where there would definitely be fresh dung, pulling hard on the wire while I pushed against the aged congregated iron, happily sharing with me about his recent bible study.

Right there I was convicted of my lack of support for my father in what he was obviously very passionate about. My thoughts drifted to how love doesn’t need agreement in order to function. At some point we have to accept that we cannot control or decide for our loved ones, no matter how right we think we are. Samson’s parents had to learn this.

“Samson went down to Timnah and saw there a young Philistine woman. When he returned, he said to his father and mother, ‘Isn’t there an acceptable woman among your relatives or among all our people? Mus you go to the uncircumcised Philistine to get a wife?’ But Samson said to his father, ‘Get her for me. She’s the right one for me.’ (His parents did not know that this was from the Lord, who was seeking an occasion to confront the Philistines; for at that time they were ruling over Israel.) Samson went down to Timnah together with his father and mother…” Judges 14:1-5

As much as they didn’t agree with Samson on his marriage choice, they had to be there for him the way parents should be. Samson's decision wasn't backed up by logic but conviction. The older I grow the more I realize relationships don’t have to stop with disagreement. I've heard it said that relationships are like a house, when your light bulb is out, you don't go looking for a new house,you change the light. Communication is key in ensuring the continuation of relationships past disagreement, so is humility, compassion, compromise, patience, consideration, repentance and forgiveness.

My sin was wanting to be on the receiving end of this principal. So long I was understood and accepted I was happy, but I wasn’t so keen when I had to do the understanding. I easily forgot the golden rule of Matthew 7:12 which it the rise or fall of any relationship. My father did unto me what I now was failing to do unto him. When we are this conceited, our relationships are bound to take the strain. So together with distance that has made my heart grow fonder, eliminating double standards is making things sweeter.

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you…” Matthew 7:12