Thoughts and Other Things

God is dealing with me about keeping my eyes on him for my provision. I’ll need to give you the back story to get me, so please bear with me. I’ve always wanted a bursary (cause wow postgraduate module prices guys). Problem is, bursaries in Theological studies are as scarce as ants in winter. This meant I was limited to apply for the bursary my institution offers to all students of any faculty. But when I started my first qualification with the university, I couldn’t apply for this bursary in the first year because I had done my undergraduate qualification with a different institution. Going into my second year, I was optimistic as I applied for the bursary and hopeful that I’d be able to take on more modules without worrying about the funds. I didn’t even get a response to my application. So that meant leaving the most expensive module to do in my third year, where I also applied for the bursary and was ghosted. I had lost all trust in the bursary department and wouldn’t be able to af...

I usually write a poem dedicated to women each year during woman's day (you can view the poems  here , here , here  , here , here and here ). The inspiration is usually our annual women's conference. The words usually come to me as I sit and listen to the various speakers throughout the conference. This year there was no conference so there was no poem. But that's not the only reason there was no poem. This women's month has been a difficult one for me to celebrate, not only because I live in a country where being a woman is literally being an endangered specie, but because almost everything I thought I had managed as a woman just seemed to unravel over these past few months. I came face-to-face with my many short-comings in this time spent under lockdown.  I have a fear of being criticised which makes me easily hurt and unecessarily defensive so you can imagine how this complicates my relationships. I realized how far this weakness was ruining things when I had a bre...

Trusting God is no walk in the park. It’s something I personally fall and rise in countless times. I’m just glad God doesn’t tire of me and never disappoints every time I rightfully place my trust on him. I'm still in the process of learning more about trusting God, particularly during this time. I recently had an interesting understanding of a very common verse given to me.   A coupling of 2 Corinthians 5:7 and Isaiah 42:16 lead me to understand that God only leads the 'blind'. Walking by faith being not walking by sight means those who walk by faith are voluntarily blind. They choose to not see though they have the ability to. They make an intentional decision to not lean on their ability to see, but instead shut their eyes towards what is happening around them and lean on God’s speaking instead.   "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar path I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough place...

I used to dread being asked questions. I had the confidence to teach on a subject I had spent time studying but all that confidence would evaporate into thin air once a hand went up from the congregation to ask a question. But over the years, through mentorship from working closely with my pastor, the right platform through our bible study program and the occasional tear fest on Wednesday nights, I’ve gotten better. I have a friend who’ll occasionally ask me questions or require perspective on the bible. I’ve grown to appreciate our interactions, because unlike others, he asks for his personal enrichment, and not to repeat what I share elsewhere as his own ideas. I also enjoy how it keeps me on my feet, well seat, studying to bring understanding, which brings me great fulfillment. His latest question is one I enjoyed answering and thought I’d share it with you as well. Q: What is God’s will? We’re going to use Romans 12:2 to answer the question. “Do not conform any longer to...

I hit the ground running into 2020 hence this being my first post for the year. There’s so much I could share about but I’m sure you’re as busy so I don’t want to overwhelm you. So I’ll tell you about how I’ve had to deal with hurt first thing in January (great way to start a year isn’t it?) Living and working with people has its pro’s but it definitely also has its cons. One of the cons is how irresponsible people can be with your heart. I was so hurt to find out lies that had been spread about me and the fool I had been helping people who were throwing it back in my face. I didn’t really want to process how all this made me feel so I just harbored the hurt and pretended all was well while I delayed dealing with it. That’s one of the worst things about me – I hardly ever speak up when I’ve been hurt. I avoid   confrontation like a virus so I just sit on my emotions when I’m hurt. This usually results in becoming more hurt because people aren’t aware that they’re hurti...