A Process

Today I submitted my Masters dissertation. Three years worth of work squeezed between almost three hundred pages. I can't tell you how pleased I was to finally click 'submit'. It was such a long-awaited moment.

From the first year, working tirelessly on a research proposal to the second year where I was manning fieldwork - finding appropriate participants, conducting interviews and collecting data. Then came the time to pull everything apart, analysing the data and then pulling it all together again as I reported on my findings. In the background of all these years, was the constant reading of several books and journal articles so that my findings could be set against other voices on the subject. Compiling each of the five chapters of the disseration proved to be such a process. Not only because of all the two-years of work that preceded it, but because I actually had to write a few drafts of each before I got it right.

It has surely been an eye-opening experience to work on ONE thing for THREE years. And along the way, I have learnt a few things about a  'process' (which I believe apply beyond an academic process).

Firstly, I have learnt that because a process is never the same for everyone, no amount of research can prepare you. Even when the end goal is common, the process is different for everyone. So no matter how many points of reference you may have, there are things you just wont know before-hand because your experience will be unique to you. So don't take too long investigating your prospects.

My biggest concern was how I would be managing all I had to do with my current responsibilities. Studying part time has its challenges and this process appeared to be very demanding. But I stopped investigating how others had done it and just focused on me doing it. Just like how Jesus told Peter to stop minding others and just focus on his task.

"When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” (John 21:21-22)

Secondly, I learnt that no matter how brilliant you may be, you will need guidance. The process is so lengthy and demanding that without guidance you are bound to lose your way. This is why you are assigned a supervisor to guide you through the process.

I had a strained relationship with my supervisor in the beginning (she was the type that didn't mince her words and I was the type that couldn't take criticism). Interacting with her, which I had to do regularly, was such a challenge that I would avoid her and attempt to work independently. Needless to say, I nearly lost my way. I had to face my fear of criticism and make use of all the assistance available to me through her. I had to embrace what Proverbs taught about guidance - I couldn't win a war without guidance.

"Plans are established by seeking advice; so if you wage war, obtain guidance." (Proverbs 20:18)

Thirdly, there are fun parts of the process. You will like these and want to stay here longer. But doing so will delay your progress. You need to keep going.

I enjoyed the data collection phase so much. I absolutely loved conducting interviews, if I wasn't restricted, I would have interviewed so many more people. I enjoyed analyzing what each participant had to say, it was so exhilarating. But I as much as I enjoyed this, I had to move on to the next phase if I were to finish.

"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead," (Philippians 3:13)

Lastly, I learnt that some parts of the process will be so awful you will want out. You will talk yourself into quitting by considering all your shortcomings if you don't take into account why you are in the process in the first place.

I nearly convinced myself that postgrad in a public university just wasn't not for me. I did my undergrad via a seminary, which is quite a different environment than a public university. I nearly gave in, but in the moments of wanting to give up, I always reminded myself of my 'why'. I decided to further my studies because it would enable me to have an indisputable place and dependable voice in my field of interest. It would enable me to assist married couples in the Church to achieve not just lasting marriages, but healthy marriages. I had to keep remembering this to stay the course.

"fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:2)

Now I am in the waiting part of the process. For the next three months, my three years worth of work will be taken apart and examined bit by bit. I am trusting God for favorable results that will be a sweet ending to this process. It will be an added bonus if all that I have learnt can help you in whatever process you may be undergoing. 

UPDATE 

I was shocked to learn the process was not so linear. I thought I would wait then meet my conclusion with much celebration. But instead, I got sent back to do ammendments. As a nasty perfectionist, I was distraught because in my head it meant I hadn't done good enough. Through tears, I worked through the ammendements and sent it back thinking to forget my goal of obtaining my degree with distinction. Then there was more waiting (if you're a UNISA student, then you know). After much waiting, I finally reached the end of the process (and reached my goal 🤭).

"Don't let the process punk you out of the promise" @realtalkkim