Pet names: where do we draw the line?
Where do we draw the line with pet names?
I'm one who has a serious problem with pet names. I'm not talking about nick names, I'm cool with those (I've acquired a whole lot of them in my lifetime), but I have a hard time swallowing once you suddenly address me as "dear". Not in the adjective, "dear pastor" "dear neighbor" are completely fine. But the word as a noun is something else. Even worse if you insert the pronoun "my" before it; I shrink. I'm often labeled as 'fussy' or 'rigid' for it, but I really think we need to consider a few things when it comes to pet names.
Familiarity. Pet names are used, or well are supposed to be used by people who are familiar with each other. Oxforddictionaries.com defines 'pet name' as a name that is used instead of someone’s usual first name to express fondness or familiarity. For that reason, I can't just meet you and now you call me "girl", no matter how well we hit it off. I've experienced this more with younger girls, just because we got along in person and for some reason I agreed to exchange numbers, we're now "girlfriends". Hayi, I don't know you like that. We'll use our first names until I know who broke your heart and what sport you played in primary school. I take life too seriously you say, well so be it. I do not make little of acquaintances and find it unwise to have undefined relationships just lying around in my life. Things should be clear, to avoid unnecessary emotions.
Gender. The definition mentioned 'fondness'. This word speaks of affection and also carries the element of knowing someone over a long period of time. I don't have to define 'affection' for you to see where I'm going with this. According to me, it's not okay for opposite genders to throw around pet names in a conversation like sprinkles on a cupcake. "boo" "hun" "babe" or the latest "bae" are now so common in conversation that they are taken lightly. But the heart is a very tricky thing, it doesn't take things so lightly when the opposite gender is involved. You might be calling someone "love" out of friendliness and genuine care for them, but your words might be building up other feelings in the heart of that 'loved' one. Soon enough you'll find yourself having had a girlfriend/boyfriend without even knowing it or having to answer the one question it always leads to: "what are we?"
Age. Some pet names are not age appropriate. You might be innocently trying to be friendly but may come off as being a sugar daddy instead. Working/professional relationships can be ruined by pet names if I'm not careful about the connotations of the words I use. It's actually not that complicated, you just need to act your age and leave the slang to the kids.
I'm old fashioned when it comes to relationships. Lines should be clear, and when crossed, it calls for a confrontation. It might sound like a lot of work but it is not half of what you'll have to do repairing damage made by stupid but meaningful little words.
I'm one who has a serious problem with pet names. I'm not talking about nick names, I'm cool with those (I've acquired a whole lot of them in my lifetime), but I have a hard time swallowing once you suddenly address me as "dear". Not in the adjective, "dear pastor" "dear neighbor" are completely fine. But the word as a noun is something else. Even worse if you insert the pronoun "my" before it; I shrink. I'm often labeled as 'fussy' or 'rigid' for it, but I really think we need to consider a few things when it comes to pet names.
Familiarity. Pet names are used, or well are supposed to be used by people who are familiar with each other. Oxforddictionaries.com defines 'pet name' as a name that is used instead of someone’s usual first name to express fondness or familiarity. For that reason, I can't just meet you and now you call me "girl", no matter how well we hit it off. I've experienced this more with younger girls, just because we got along in person and for some reason I agreed to exchange numbers, we're now "girlfriends". Hayi, I don't know you like that. We'll use our first names until I know who broke your heart and what sport you played in primary school. I take life too seriously you say, well so be it. I do not make little of acquaintances and find it unwise to have undefined relationships just lying around in my life. Things should be clear, to avoid unnecessary emotions.
Gender. The definition mentioned 'fondness'. This word speaks of affection and also carries the element of knowing someone over a long period of time. I don't have to define 'affection' for you to see where I'm going with this. According to me, it's not okay for opposite genders to throw around pet names in a conversation like sprinkles on a cupcake. "boo" "hun" "babe" or the latest "bae" are now so common in conversation that they are taken lightly. But the heart is a very tricky thing, it doesn't take things so lightly when the opposite gender is involved. You might be calling someone "love" out of friendliness and genuine care for them, but your words might be building up other feelings in the heart of that 'loved' one. Soon enough you'll find yourself having had a girlfriend/boyfriend without even knowing it or having to answer the one question it always leads to: "what are we?"
Age. Some pet names are not age appropriate. You might be innocently trying to be friendly but may come off as being a sugar daddy instead. Working/professional relationships can be ruined by pet names if I'm not careful about the connotations of the words I use. It's actually not that complicated, you just need to act your age and leave the slang to the kids.
I'm old fashioned when it comes to relationships. Lines should be clear, and when crossed, it calls for a confrontation. It might sound like a lot of work but it is not half of what you'll have to do repairing damage made by stupid but meaningful little words.
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