Written Off
In acknowledgment of Women's Month, I spent this month having girl talks with the girls at the Orphans & Vulnerable Children (OVC) Centre I run Bible Study sessions at on Fridays. Of course the boys complained that I didn't do anything for them in July, I can't be blamed for forgetting, nobody makes a fuss about Men's Month, lol. (Next year it is boys).
Anyway, I was so amazed at how the things I spoke with them spoke so much to me at the same time. I was also amazed at the amount of women the Bible features and how much they can teach us women of this age.
However, today I told them about a woman who isn't in the Bible but one who has made the Bible's story of grace come to life in so many ways. Sarah Jakes-Roberts. I fell in love with her after I read her mind-blowing memoir, Lost & Found. I told the girls about her story to bring across a point that was burning in my heart all morning: don't write yourself off.
It's been a year since I read her book, but its content is still fresh in my mind and heart. There's a quotation from it that I'll never forget: "Dreams were for people who hadn't experienced failure, life was for the rest of us."
This is the sermon our mistakes repeatedly preach to us; that we have disqualified ourselves from anything good by messing up. We then write ourselves off, no longer dreaming or striving for anything good or anything better than what we're stuck in. We live to survive and no longer to thrive.
One of the main reasons we fall prey to this lie is the unequal burden that is put on women by society every time they make fault. Silly example: teen girl falls pregnant. We're going to be eyeing her and judging her, saying how we saw it coming and how this generation has lost all moral values. That time the baby-daddy is walking around burden- (and probably guilt-) free just around the corner. We all know that she couldn't have gotten herself pregnant but she's the one who's pregnant so it's her we'll judge. Please hear me well, I'm by no means justifying teenage pregnancy, I am merely painting you a picture of how unforgiving society is to the sins of a woman.
Let's take it to scripture so you'll stop doubting me. John 8. The women caught committing adultery. I am certain that even back then it took two to tango, but it was the woman's yoke to carry once again. If I were Jesus (which you all should be glad I'm not, haha) I would have asked those Pharisees a few questions: 'what kind of adultery is this where one commits it all by themself? How does one go about committing it if you don't mind me asking? Could you please demonstrate it?' Then I'd probably zap their pinky fingers for their grave injustice.
A woman carries a heavy burden when it comes to her bad choices, this then makes her want to live the rest of her life standing by the sidelines watching everyone else who did it right get the good things they deserve. Like Tamar. She was burdened for not being strong enough to fight Amnon off her. It didn't matter that she was raped, what mattered was that she was no longer a virgin and everyone could tell because virgin daughters of the king wore certain clothing back then (read 2 Samuel 13). [And now that I think about it, why didn't the sons of the king also wear something symbolizing their sexual status?] Because of this, Tamar lived the rest of her life desolate (empty, wretched, lonely, unhappy) in the house of her brother Absalom. She did nothing with her life, achieved nothing, changed nothing; she just lived.
Sarah Jakes-Roberts understood that grace meant that if she confessed her sin and repented, she was free from the burden of her mistakes. She too could pursue her dreams and hope for a bright future. A teenage mother at a point, a divorcee too, she has touched the globe with her story. She has two books to her name and one coming out soon. She is happily married and is the first lady of One Church LA.
Your mistakes do not define you. Do not write yourself off, you are worth a better life, you still qualify, grace qualifies you.
Anyway, I was so amazed at how the things I spoke with them spoke so much to me at the same time. I was also amazed at the amount of women the Bible features and how much they can teach us women of this age.
However, today I told them about a woman who isn't in the Bible but one who has made the Bible's story of grace come to life in so many ways. Sarah Jakes-Roberts. I fell in love with her after I read her mind-blowing memoir, Lost & Found. I told the girls about her story to bring across a point that was burning in my heart all morning: don't write yourself off.
It's been a year since I read her book, but its content is still fresh in my mind and heart. There's a quotation from it that I'll never forget: "Dreams were for people who hadn't experienced failure, life was for the rest of us."
This is the sermon our mistakes repeatedly preach to us; that we have disqualified ourselves from anything good by messing up. We then write ourselves off, no longer dreaming or striving for anything good or anything better than what we're stuck in. We live to survive and no longer to thrive.
One of the main reasons we fall prey to this lie is the unequal burden that is put on women by society every time they make fault. Silly example: teen girl falls pregnant. We're going to be eyeing her and judging her, saying how we saw it coming and how this generation has lost all moral values. That time the baby-daddy is walking around burden- (and probably guilt-) free just around the corner. We all know that she couldn't have gotten herself pregnant but she's the one who's pregnant so it's her we'll judge. Please hear me well, I'm by no means justifying teenage pregnancy, I am merely painting you a picture of how unforgiving society is to the sins of a woman.
Let's take it to scripture so you'll stop doubting me. John 8. The women caught committing adultery. I am certain that even back then it took two to tango, but it was the woman's yoke to carry once again. If I were Jesus (which you all should be glad I'm not, haha) I would have asked those Pharisees a few questions: 'what kind of adultery is this where one commits it all by themself? How does one go about committing it if you don't mind me asking? Could you please demonstrate it?' Then I'd probably zap their pinky fingers for their grave injustice.
A woman carries a heavy burden when it comes to her bad choices, this then makes her want to live the rest of her life standing by the sidelines watching everyone else who did it right get the good things they deserve. Like Tamar. She was burdened for not being strong enough to fight Amnon off her. It didn't matter that she was raped, what mattered was that she was no longer a virgin and everyone could tell because virgin daughters of the king wore certain clothing back then (read 2 Samuel 13). [And now that I think about it, why didn't the sons of the king also wear something symbolizing their sexual status?] Because of this, Tamar lived the rest of her life desolate (empty, wretched, lonely, unhappy) in the house of her brother Absalom. She did nothing with her life, achieved nothing, changed nothing; she just lived.
Sarah Jakes-Roberts understood that grace meant that if she confessed her sin and repented, she was free from the burden of her mistakes. She too could pursue her dreams and hope for a bright future. A teenage mother at a point, a divorcee too, she has touched the globe with her story. She has two books to her name and one coming out soon. She is happily married and is the first lady of One Church LA.
Your mistakes do not define you. Do not write yourself off, you are worth a better life, you still qualify, grace qualifies you.
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