Word over experience

Being a young pastor has its challenges. One of them is the way people receive you. Being young, you haven't gone through half the things your audience or congregation has been through and at times it's a struggle for them to have confidence in the things you say, especially if it concerns things like marriage and child-rearing. It's hard for them to trust your guidance and counsel when they consider your  façade and very short list of experience. Sometimes I can't blame them, people made the same mistake with Jesus.
"So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now!" 2 Corinthians 5:16 (NLT)

I was getting ready to minister at a funeral and my mind was busy telling me the difficulty I'd have because I couldn't relate to the situation. I have both parents and all my siblings are alive and well; all I've lost are grandparents, a few aunts and cousins. I then came across a verse in the portion of Scripture I was studying.
"For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake." 2 Corinthians 4:5
That first phrase jumped out at me. I am not preaching myself or my experiences, I am preaching Christ and His Lordship. I am in no way saying our testimony shouldn't form part of our message, but I am saying a message shouldn't be disqualified because the speaker has no experience in the matter. Jackie Hill-Perry once said something I'll never forget; she said we should be careful that we preach experience more than the Word itself.

There's a Bible character I always use to help a congregation to be more receptive of message where I see a struggle. Elihu son of Barakel found in Job 32. He had waited out while Job's friends spoke to him because they were older. I love his words in verse 7 & 8:
"I thought, 'Age should speak; advanced years should teach wisdom.' But it is the Spirit in a man, the breath of the Almighty, that gives him understanding."
It is God's Spirit that qualifies one to speak on subjects that seem far from them. I don't have to marry before I can teach you about marriage, I don't have to have children so I can counsel you on how to raise kids biblically. I just have to maintain a good relationship with the Holy Spirit who'll give me understanding of things I've never been through.
I'm not down playing the door your personal experiences open in the hearts of people; people relate better with you when they know you've been where they are, but that should not be the standard.

There are many very nice phrases and statements that go around in the Church that are not necessarily backed up by Scripture. One of them is the notion that a person who's been there can tell you better. The Jesus we preach didn't experience a majority of the things he preached and taught about but His words are commandments to us because of the Spirit He spoke through. The Spirit is better than any personal experience.