In-between (a blur)

I was pondering about the use of hair conditioner. As you know by now, I’ve been dedicated to loving and taking care of my natural hair for the past two years now. Conditioner is applied after shampooing your hair and before moisturizing it. Conditioner for hair is similar to what a toner is for your face. It’s an in-between stage which determines the success or effectiveness of the next. Now a conditioner’s purpose is to, well, condition the hair follicle. It strengthens it, preventing hair from breaking and preparing it to be moisturized. I pondered about this because of the season I’m in in my life, this blurry, in-between season.

I say blurry because at this point I have the ‘what’ but I really have no clue how and when. My goal is visible, but the details aren’t so clear. I’m hoping this only last for my twenties, so I’ve called this stage the blurry twenties. What makes things blurry is the fact that in between where you are and where you want to be, life happens. And when life happens, goals are delayed, reshuffled, altered, edited, modified…you begin to not know all the answers, you can’t fill in all the blanks, you have more questions than answers. In these blurry twenties I’ve realised that what’s important is to keep moving even in the midst of uncertainty. You might not have all the answers, but if you’re still clear about what it is you want, keep on sister. Do what you can with what you have now, make the best of the season. What’s important is to keep in mind the necessity of the in-between stages; preparation for the next.

As the conditioner strengthens the hair shaft and prevents it from breaking during handling and in different weather conditions, these in-between stages of life make us strong. The hustling that categories the blurry twenties makes us grow a thicker skin for the challenges of the next stage so we don’t break easily. We’ll be able to take the heat and cold of seasons to come because we’ve been conditioned, set to be able to cope. As the conditioner prepares hair for moisturisation, the in-between also prepares you for the blessings and the nice stuff of the next stage. Because life is not all bad, I don’t care where you are and what you’ve been through, life will turn around for you, and you need to be prepared for when that happens.

When hair hasn’t been conditioned, moisture isn’t sealed in properly, so your hair will just be oily but remain dry and weak. Conditioner makes the moisturizer ‘stick’. The in-between will do just that, it will make you soak up all the good of the coming times. You won’t be like those people who win the lottery but end up dying poor because they couldn’t manage the sudden wealth. No, because you stuck it through during the blurry stage and persevered, you will have the ability to contain the blessing, it won’t be wasted in you. Sure the blessing will overwhelm you because God does above and beyond what we think and ask of him, but overwhelmed as you’ll be, you’ll still manage well. Jesus uses a beautiful analogy in Matthew 9:17 which emphasises this.

“Neither, do men pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, both are preserved.”

Jesus was of course talking about his ministry and his disciples, as he was questioned why he did things differently from the accepted tradition. His ministry came with something new, and to be received, the recipients should be prepared.

What I like most about this portion of scripture is what he says at the end, that proper preparation preserves both. You'll be kept, so will the blessing. We tend to emphasise the waste of the blessing when we complain about people who had great opportunities yet failed. Jesus here opens our eyes to see that it can also do damage to the person, they can be wasted, ruined, heart broken, discouraged, dissapointed, completely messed up by the experience. Remember the prodigal son in Luke 15. When he came to his senses, he was so disappointed in himself and the level he had stooped to that the thought that he could never be considered his father's son again. It happens when we didn't allow the in-between stages to teach and mould us.

So yes it might be blurry right now, but it gets clearer the closer you get, so don’t stop. I can’t give you all the answers you need right now, and I can’t promise you when it will all make sense, but it will, you need not give up, you need not shrink back or lose hope. This time is just conditioning you, you’ll be glad you stuck it through in the end. 

"Rejoice in hope, endure in troubles and continue steadfastly in prayer." Romans 12:12