New read

My current read is one I would have never bought, fear and, well, insecurity would have never let me. That's the joy of receiving books as gifts...it's like having a lucky packet, it's content remains a surprise. You get to read different genres and authors beyond your own bookshelf as a result. For my birthday I received books that made me jump with excitement and that I dove into first chance I got. Needless to say, they were about something I'm passionate about, marriage. For Christmas, I got Beth Moore's "So Long, Insecurity."

I love Beth even though I hadn't read any of her material before. I follow her on social media and have seen her on TV a few times, I love her hilarious approach to things. But I had a moment when I unwrapped this book to see the title. The very first thing I thought: why would my gift-giver think I needed this book? Do I appear as an insecure person? I quickly ran through conversations we'd had in my head, checking if the subject ever came up. I tried to analyze things I did when around them, trying to see if any of them could justify me receiving this particular book. When I found nothing, I thoroughly grilled them on why this book. I didn't realize how rude and ungrateful I was being. I felt horrible afterwards.

I then realized that me making such a big deal out of it attests to the fact that I do struggle with insecurity. I felt I had to protect myself because my secret was out. What I thought I kept perfectly hidden wasn't so far from the eye as I thought, so I thought.
Reading the book, I am so glad that my gift giver coincidently bought me this book. Once I open it, I laugh, hold back tears and scribble for hours on end. It's a great read! A relieving one too because you learn that you're not the only one. Women from all walks of life struggle with insecurities, regardless of what they have or don't have.

I'm only at chapter 4, (I'm taking my time with it as I want it to sink in) and would love to share with you a few of the many things I've learnt so far.
I learnt about the link between insecurities and the opposite gender...
• "Men are not our problem; it's what we are trying to get from them that messes us up. Nothing is more baffling than our attempt to "derive our womanhood from our men. We use guys like mirrors to see if we're valuable. Beautiful. Desirable. Worthy of notice. Viable. We try to read their expressions and moods in order to determine whether it's time to act smart and hard to get or play dumb and needy." (I'm so guilty)
• "A man is infinitely more attracted to a secure woman than to an emotional wreck who insists he could complete her. They don't like the pressure of being in charge of our sense of value. It's too much for them." (I think they really should communicate their thoughts more often, save us the trouble, lol)

Then learnt about the key pointers of insecurity...
• "Insecure people are easily and frequently hurt, they are usually unaware of how they are unwitting accomplices in creating their own misery." (yep)
• "One way we can detect insecurity is by our knee-jerk reaction to any level of change in a relationship, particularly if we perceive that the focus has shifted away from us. The more easily threatened we are, the more insecure we are."

And the link between insecurity and one's relationship with God...
• "I realized this morning that I not only lack security, also lack faith. I don't just doubt myself, I also doubt God about myself."

Okay, that's enough, you go get your own copy now. And next time you buy a book, go for one that singles you out, that attacks you at your core; those are reads that will impact you forever.