Thoughts and Other Things

I can have the worst episodes of crying spells (blame it on the hormones *rolls eyes*). In an effort to help myself quickly snap out of them, I try (emphasis on try) to reason with myself. I force myself to respond to the question of why it is I’m crying. You know, the whole get it at the root theory. In most cases I cry because I feel a certain way. Then we take the interrogation further by delving into why I feel that particular way. Being accountable for your feelings is not a nice exercise because the answers are never pretty. They usually point to selfishness or a bruised ego, an obsession with having things go my way or just plain pettiness (yes, I occasionally cry just because I saw the cutest baby romper *hides*). The most ‘reasonable’ answers are usually rooted in things I can’t control. One thing I’ve discovered about myself in this getting older business is that one of my greatest weakness is accepting that certain things are beyond my control (next to talking more than...

A few days ago I came across a quote that shook me. “If you love the spotlight more than the secret place you’ll gravitate toward self-promotion and move ahead of God’s timing.” Lisa Bevere  (and for that reason if you get me anything for Christmas, get me her books). It shook me because I know my heart and its weakness of wanting to be seen and known. And it was this weakness that had me anticipating the release of my final year results. You see, every year we have this service during our Thanksgiving Convention where we motivate believers towards their educational/vocational goals and congratulate those who’ve achieved them. For the past two years, every time my list of qualifications (it’s a sentence really), they mentioned that I was in the process of doing my honours. This year would be different (or so I thought). They’d announce that I passed with flying colours and would graduate in Autumn. But my results weren’t out in time. I sulked and kept of waiting, ch...

You know that song that goes ‘when Jesus says yes nobody can say no’? Have you ever thought of it the other way around? That when Jesus says no nobody can say yes? I doubt it because as Job implies, we are more accepting when God gives us the good we expect than we are of the trouble we pray away. If I’m going to walk with God and walk well, I must accept that, like any parent, sometimes He will say no. I also need to accept that his ‘no’ bares the same power and authority that his ‘yes’ does. That no matter how much I try to go against it, and how much backing I have from people, His ‘no’ will overrule everything and everyone. I studied the subject of discipline a few days ago and was reminded of a few things that I realized I had left along the way (causing much frustration in my spiritual walk). “My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” Proverbs 3:11-12 The atti...

For as long as I’ve read the book of Jonah, my focus was on Jonah (the book is titled after him after all). I would love to say I was studying the book when I discovered some of the things I’m about to share, but ministry and adulting just isn’t that glamorous. I was doing what I call a ‘rush job’ (where I desperately plead with God to speak to me minutes before leaving for service because I was held up by other ministerial duties throughout the day) when God pulled my attention to the sailors in the story. For the first time I realized how they suffered as a result of someone else’s bad decisions, all because they allowed him to board their ship. Pondering upon this, I concluded that some of the tough consequences we have to put up with aren’t even a result of our decisions, but a result of being connected to people who make poor decisions. This calls for us to really make an effort into evaluating who we allow to enter our lives. These men knew very little about Jonah. All they ...

While working with the young men from our youth group at the construction site over the weekend, one commented that if you want people’s attention, talk about relationships. This came about as we discussed the poor response to a discussion we had had the previous night on mental health. So, I thought I’d test this hypothesis. I want to adopt the concept of not being unequally yoked to talk about a common downfall in relationships: being unequally invested. A couple can have many differences and a number of qualities and values in varying proportions, but investment into the relationship cannot be one of them. Unlike shareholders of a company, one cannot hold more shares in the relationship than the other. If one values the relationship more and puts in more into it, they run a high chance of being used and abused. The concept of ‘unequally yoked’ is rooted in 2 Corinthians 6 where the bible states that believers should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Paul says this on t...

As a regular baker and cook, I’ve learnt that every ingredient is key to having the end product come out as promised. I made lasagna recently and substituted a few ingredients and added a bit of my own. Though it tasted good, it didn’t really look like the picture. I was most disappointed in the topping because instead of using a mixture of two types of cheese, I just used one, cheddar, so it was annoyingly bright yellow. From last week I’ve been pondering on how the same applies with God’s instructions. If what he promised is what shall be the end result, then we need to follow instructions. And not just some instructions, or the majority of the instructions, but ALL of them. I need to follow what God says about believing him as much as I listen to what he says about the way I use my mouth. I need to follow instructions pertaining to how I treat others as much as how I treat my body. No instruction is less, it all works to bring me to the promised result. In his Word, God literal...

I recently completed my research project which centerd around the impact of African Culture on the marriage experience of Christian Africans. A number of studies have revealed that there is a decline in marriage rate and an increase of age at first marriage amongst black South Africans. This means they are not getting married as much as they used to and that they are older when they marry than before. A contributing factor to this has been identified as the payment of ‘bridewealth’, popularly known as ‘ilobolo’. So I thought I’d share my thoughts and findings on the subject with you guys and by so doing provide answers to a few questions that many tend to have. Research done among contemporary Zulu society 1 unearthed that 60% of men regarded ilobolo as an impediment to marriage. This meant they couldn’t marry when they wanted as a result of high ilobolo costs, which explains the increase of age at first marriage. Some, especially in urban areas, resort to cohabitation, which e...

Taking classes at gym has brought me to the realization that balance is a given for most of us, but its strength needs to be built otherwise it diminishes over the years, which is why older people are more prone to falling. My body’s balance is now quite good, thanks to Magda my fantastic instructor, but I’m afraid I can’t say the same about my ability to balance things in my life. I had a breakdown due to my inability to balance things (adulting can get so much guys) and was whining to Sam about it. I gave her what I thought could be a solution to my problems, which was a rather dramatic change type of solution. She dropped a truth bomb on me. She said that the answer wasn’t in changing things, but in upping my skill in balancing things because things would always be there and are likely to increase as I grow older (I know, someone needs to book her for a TEDtalk). Balance is defined as an even distribution of weight enabling someone/something to remain upright and steady (Oxfo...

It’s Sunday tomorrow and some of us are just tired of traditional ‘7 color Sunday Kos’. So I thought I’d write up something different today, a recipe! I made this chicken pie earlier this week and got good ratings from the fam (I promise, they weren’t being bias), so I thought I’d share. The filling is my own made up combination while the easy Shortcrust Pastry recipe is from my good old Snowflake Book of Baking. You’re going to need: For pastry 4 cups of cake flour A teaspoon of salt Half a block (250g) of butter A cup of iced water 2 teaspoons of lemon juice (they say brandy is an option but we’re Christian so scratch that) For filling A tablespoon of butter “                               “ of cooking oil 1kg of chicken fillets (cut in strips) 1 Onion (sliced) A handful of button mushrooms (sliced) A cup of frozen veggies of your choice 2 cups of chicken stock 2 tablespoons of fl...

Last Saturday we welcomed Spring. My outfit last Sunday was a bright dress and high-heeled sandals. Yesterday, it was a polo neck, a thick skirt, stockings, a coat and high-heeled boots. I was so disappointed to have to pull out my coat again, thank goodness I still had gas in my heater. This shocking drop in temperatures and quick return to winter had me thinking. At times in life we get so excited walking into a new season, one that promises freshness and relaxation, a season that promises to give us a break, a few less things to worry about. But then all of a sudden, before we know it, we are quickly drawn back to where we were. We start experiencing the same problems and must deal with the same issues we did before. What is discouraging and sometimes depressing about this reversal is not that we can’t handle it, it’s that we thought we were out of the woods. The issue is not that you have to do it again, it’s that you thought you’d never have to do it again. Some experiences...

I’ve been privileged to speak to women on various occasions this women’s month. Each time God laid a message in my heart, I was reminded of just how much God loves His girls and just how much He longs for them. Last week I studied the effects of sin that dramatically changed our storyline as women. When you read Genesis 1 when God first thought of us, you’ll see how God created mankind (both male and female) with the authority to rule, in likeness to him. God then identifies the subjects of their rulership; the animals and the earth (according to older translations). But when sin came into the picture, it changed this. The woman moved from one who was to rule together with man, to one who was to be ruled by him. I love the details in the verse that detail this shift. “To the woman he said, ‘I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.” Genesis 3:16 (NIV) Sin messe...

I’m told I’m supposed to be imbokodo – a rock. A rock that you can strike, Because when you do it won’t break, right? I won’t crack under the force of your fist, I won’t be shattered by the sting of your brutal words, I won’t take offense at your sweet words and hungry look towards her, I won’t be overwhelmed by the implications of your absence as I stare at the faces that are your spitting image, right? So I tried. I tried to cover up the black and blue marks your anger left behind on my face. I tried to forget and correct the spillage of your words in my heart. I tried to play your part and carried the home on my shoulders. I repeatedly tried to erase the image of your body forcefully entering mine. I really tried to undermine the purpose of my existence, to live ignoring my passion and aspirations. I tried to be as strong as you said I should be. I tried over and over again, but failed each time. I broke down in tears on every occasion because My body couldn’t ta...

There’s been a lot of talk about depression on my timeline this week. A lot of big names have taken their lives because of it in recent days and months, and more and more people suffering from it are seeking help, even Christians. Sheila Walsh is one who has openly shared about her struggle with anxiety and depression. Michelle Williams recently checked herself into a mental health facility, while pastor Louie Giglio released a book about his comeback from his struggle with depression. Depression is not a foreign subject in Scripture, so it shouldn’t be one in the church too. Many people hit rock bottom and were even suicidal, including the great prophet Elijah, king David in the Psalms and runaway Jonah. But I want to speak about Paul’s struggle with it. Yep, he’s usually not counted amongst the down and out group of the Bible characters, he’s the great apostle that gave us most of the New Testament after all. But the great revelations he received are one side of the coin, the ot...

We are more than half way through the year. When considering goals and resolutions set for the year when it began, one is tempted to let go of some when we seeing the time left. Well, I’m here to let you know that you shouldn’t allow passing time to speak you out of your goals or dreams. We easily talk ourselves out of things and postpone things because we feel pressured by time, finances, unforeseen circumstances, people’s opinions or whatever else choses to challenge us. We slowly move away from what we are passionate about, from what we’ve always dreamt of doing, just because we’ve allowed ourselves to be talked out of it. But I’m learning that as God’s child, apologising and retreating from what my faith has lead me to is not an option. Not only because I’m capable beyond my comprehension, but because it doesn’t please God. “But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him. But we are not of those who shrink back and are destro...

Earlier this year I received a phone call from my brother whom we had lost contact with for almost a decade. Shortly after that I had a phone conversation with a little human who called me ‘aunti’. I have a number of titles I go by, but I found myself falling deeply in love with how this little voice put ‘aunti’ before my name. Ever since I’ve been praying for a chance to go meet her. God answered my prayers. This week I drove down to Durban to go meet my niece Luyanda and it was way more than I bargained for. I had a mental image of how I wanted this trip to go. Firstly, it was supposed to be a girls trip with my younger sisters (that dad was sponsoring). But just 8 hours before we left, father decided he was coming along, promising not to be an inconvenience. I cannot relate with his spontaneity as I plan everything to the dot, even my trips to town. So the perfectionist in me wanted to complain because this is not how ‘we’ planned it. Time was ignored because, well, my father...

On Monday I realized I had reached my ten year mark of preaching. I realized this while posting the above photo on Instagram appreciating my pastor who has been a great mentor to me all these years. To be honest, the journey so far has been nothing like I imagined it, but I’m so glad that I’m still standing. The Call I was fifteen when I became aware that God had called me to serve Him. I became born again at age fourteen at a crusade and only found understanding of my actions when my family found a church to fellowship in a year later. Well, my story is not of heaven opening up and hearing an audible voice calling me like Saul. It wasn’t a vision either, though there were a number dreams hinting at it and a curious passion for God and serving him. Every time someone stood before me ministering in the Word my heart burnt with a desire to do the same, but I never understood what it was. There were others too, saying what God had revealed to them, including my pastor. But ‘my mom...

It’s winter and I’m hating every minute of it. All I want to do is eat and sleep. My brain might be frozen because I can’t seem to apply my mind to anything lately (which is why I’ve been so silent). I think it’s time we introduced human hibernation hey. But until God approves my suggestion, we’ll soldier on draped in coats and scarves. I’ve been looking into a subject recently that has emphasised the issue of God’s will. Of course God’s will is something littered in Scripture but I’ve found the things Jesus has said and taught pertaining to God’s will to be so profound. The most famous is probably part of the prayer Jesus taught his disciples AKA The Lord’s Prayer. “Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” Matthew 6:10 It is given that God’s will is done in heaven, and this is linked to a word in the previous phrase; “kingdom”. Heaven is where God’s kingdom is established, where He reigns as King, where His authority is supreme. Everything in heaven...