Thoughts and Other Things

While attending our children’s ministry camp this past week, something was said which hit home. We were bonding over the bon-fire with the teens and one married sister of mine said something quiet profound. She mentioned the danger of these ‘friendships-bordering-on-relationships’ between young girls and boys; that it exposes you and your weaknesses to a person who is not bound to you by a covenant. It makes the other person know you so well, which should only be the privilege of your spouse and that even if they were a potential spouse, they will now reconsider seeing that they know your infirmities. Her point was, a person can only know you so much, but some things about you should remain treasures left only for your spouse to excavate. Be it nasty dark things like coal or beautiful pleasures like diamonds. I could relate. You see, at some stage I was also a teenager (though I do not like to admit) and quiet head-strong with my opinions. One was that there was no harm in being c...

I’m the kind of person who is able to do anything I put my mind to, no matter how difficult it may seem. I got through school without failing a grade, got through tertiary without having repeated a subject. (I’m not bragging, keep reading.) So when I decided to start learning how to drive in December of 2012, I thought I’d nail it without much trouble. It had been so easy to get my learners anyway. So I set March as my due date to have a licence. Little did I know that it was time God taught me a little lesson about failure. The first day of my lessons seemed well, but the more we continued, I got frustrated. Yes the driving school I was with was no good, but I was hiding behind that fact. I had now found something I couldn’t do, no matter how hard I tried. After one of my lessons, now in the middle of January, I figured I had two options. Get married to a husband who’ll love me so much as to drive me around everywhere, or one who’ll be rich enough to hire me a driver. Until then,...

I have more to say, but I’ll stop here. Lastly, she is selfless. “She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.” Proverbs 31:20 A selfish girl cannot do this. For her, it’s all about ‘me and mine’ and ‘what will I gain?’. Limited are the blessings of such, for we know that blessed is the hand that gives than that which receives. Again, I love Ruth when it comes to selflessness. She had experienced the pain of losing her husband and was now a foreigner in a land with a people she did not know. In all this, she still looks out for her mother-in-law. When given food, we are told that she ate some, and left some behind for Naomi. “She carried it back to town, and her mother-in-law saw how much she had gathered. Ruth also brought out and gave her what she had left over after she had eaten enough.” Ruth 2:18 Ruth could have hidden these left-overs, Naomi didn’t know she had them. But she didn’t, she was a sharing person, she always did more than was expected...

Moving on. There is something about a woman who puts her relationship with God first before anything else. I don’t mean those who brag about their godliness on Facebook but never come close to being the things they say. I’m speaking of the bold Esthers’, who are willing to stand in the face of death when it comes to God. The Abigails’ who reverse the wrath of kings. Women who don’t just talk the talk, but walk the walk of faith. Let’s look at Ruth again. “But Ruth replied, ‘Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you say I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” Ruth 1:16 Ruth had the choice of returning home, to her people, to her gods and a chance at marriage. But because she had seen something different about the God of Israel, and chose to associate herself with him, she was willing to pay the price that came with it. It must have been hard watching her sister Orpah leave but she stayed because her des...

Three: she cannot be lazy. I spoke of laziness to use one’s brain in one, now I want to talk about the result of that, laziness to use one’s hands. Now there’s being unexposed to knowledge, then there’s being lazy. There’s being unable, and there’s being lazy. The woman can be in the dark about certain things, needing education and training with a few things, she can even be unable and bad at a few other things, but she cannot be lazy. I do not know which verse to quote for you because Proverbs 31 is scattered with this woman’s hands at work. I’ll take 17. “She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.” My mother is of the faith that there’s nothing attractive about a lazy person. But thing is, lazy girls aren't lazy with themselves. They will look good, damn good, so good you’d never think of them as the lazy type. It’s easy to detect a person who’s lazy with their brain, just let them open their mouths. Lazy folk, however, are not so easy to pick...

Two: what is she wearing? No, I'm not talking about designer clothes and the latest fashion trends, not that there's anything wrong with a well-dressed woman, a lady must have style. But I'm more concerned with what she has clothed herself with on the inside. "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." Proverbs 31:25  We all dress up to protect ourselves from outside forces which can be harmful, be it UV rays or winter winds. Same thing with our inner being which needs to be clothed in order to face and survive the storms of life. Here is the problem with vague, fickle girls: they run at the first sign of trouble. This is because difficulties withdraw from you, and if you have nothing stored up, they will hit you and leave you dry like a tree in winter. In a wife, you want someone who'll stick with you when your last runs out, and to do that, a girl's gotta be dressed. Not only will a well-dressed woman stick with yo...