Failure: a friend not a foe
I’m the kind of person who is able to do anything
I put my mind to, no matter how difficult it may seem. I got through school
without failing a grade, got through tertiary without having repeated a
subject. (I’m not bragging, keep reading.) So when I decided to start learning
how to drive in December of 2012, I thought I’d nail it without much trouble.
It had been so easy to get my learners anyway. So I set March as my due date to
have a licence. Little did I know that it was time God taught me a little lesson
about failure.
The first day of my lessons seemed well, but the
more we continued, I got frustrated. Yes the driving school I was with was no
good, but I was hiding behind that fact. I had now found something I couldn’t
do, no matter how hard I tried. After one of my lessons, now in the middle of
January, I figured I had two options. Get married to a husband who’ll love me
so much as to drive me around everywhere, or one who’ll be rich enough to hire
me a driver. Until then, I’d use my two-series (i.e. feet) and public transport
(which I resent with all of my being). So I quit the driving school. I told
everyone that my dad was going to teach me how to drive. I thought he’d reject
the idea, but he didn’t. So I unresolved my resolution and tried again. And for
a while, things went well. I could even drive myself to church, though people
didn’t want to park close to me. Then I crashed the car into a wall at home
after washing it. That was the end of Mr Ndlovu’s driving lessons to this slow
student of his. It was now May.
Then God started teaching me about failure. There
were many scriptures I learnt from, including 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10; but my
favourite was Judges 20, the battle between the Israelites and the Benjamites. After
getting the go-ahead from God, the Israelites went into battle. They lost
22 000 soldiers in battle on their first day. I expected them to go home,
sit down, and cry (that’s what I’d do), but they didn’t. Instead the Bible says
in verse 22:
“But the men of Israel
encouraged one another and again took up their positions where they had
stationed themselves the first day.”
Ok, so these guys know something different about
failure, that it’s not the end of the world when you don’t get something right
the first time around. So they give it one more try. They again ask God and
charge out the next day. You’d expect them to be victorious this time, but
nope, God was still busy with his lesson on failure. That day, 18 000
soldiers were slaughtered. For me, that would be it, it would only mean I’m
next to die so just go home (and cry over a tub of ice-cream). But not these
guys. The Bible says they went back to God, fasting this time. I wouldn’t
bother, I’ve asked Him twice and He gave me the same response on both accounts,
so He’s probably going to say the same thing and the same thing is going to
happen, with the possibility of me being the one who dies. But these guys knew
and trusted their God, above all, they trusted His Word.
To cut a long story short, God said go again and
they went. It seemed they were losing in the beginning of the battle, but
things took a drastic turn and they were winning. Then somewhere in the middle
of them winning, it seemed like they were losing again, but they held on to
God’s word until things changed again. In the end the Israelites won. One very
important thing I learnt from this story is that I need to believe God’s Word
more than I believe my reality. I need to not move in my confession. I had long
stopped making any confessions of faith that I would drive. But after I
understood this text, I got up and tried again. It was August.
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